I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
