i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
