Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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