these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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