i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
