Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
