I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
