You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
this hospital has no fireball
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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