so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You are a genius and a whore.
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