First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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