gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize