I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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