Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm like, not good at living.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
