you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
