did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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