I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
