Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
cat food counts as protein by the way
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
