my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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