remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
