talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
