the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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