I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
