after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
