Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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