is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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