I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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