Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
