I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize