It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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