I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
