Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
