bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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