As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm like, not good at living.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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