Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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