i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The Olympian is in my bed
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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