no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize