someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
