erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize