I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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