the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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