How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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