Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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