marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
