who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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