So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
