I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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