NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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