I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
