Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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