eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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