I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
