Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
