I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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