I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
