break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
