STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize