On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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