he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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