She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
