oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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