One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
