There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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