why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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