Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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