and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
