I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
