I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
