You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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