You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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