Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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