new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
