White coat. Heels.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
