At least make sure they are 18
Why
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
