I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
