well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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