Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
