i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
