so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
