Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
