i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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