I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
